Overcoming restriction one breakfast at a time.
| July 7, 2011 | Posted by Sweet Tooth Runner under Disordered Eating |
HAPPY THURSDAY friends!! Hope you’ve all had an amazing day!! I’m going to talk a little bit about my disordered eating past today for the first time…aaah!
I have to tell you right now about my REALLY exciting run!!
Eeee no pain!! So tomorrow I might be able to tackle the ROAD if it’s still feeling good, and then a track tempo hopefully on Saturday aaah!! I also did a New Rules weights workout later in the day, and even though I’m only on the second week, I’m seeing strength gains already! 
Anyway, onto breakfast! Sorry guys, but I’m gonna say it again. I have to- there really was no choice today. Best. Breakfast. EVER.
THAT bowl of deliciousness my friends, is banana oatbran pudding topped with a half chocolate and vanilla Alpro soya puddings and a crumbled PB choc chip cookie from yesterday. Not even kidding, this seriously was the best breakfast ever. You can’t beat dessert for breakfast 
I am a girl with a huge sweet tooth. I’m sure that’s totally new information for you 
There was a time- a sad sad time- where I didn’t eat what I wanted to. Shall we do an oatmeal comparison? Not sure I really want to repost this, but here goes:
That was what my breakfasts used to look like. Mmmm, looks good right? 
1/4 cup oats cooked in water topped with 2 tbsp of raisins. Aaah those were fun times.
Back then, breakfast wasn’t something I looked forward to. I knew exactly what I would have. I didn’t really enjoy it, and it certainly wasn’t exactly what I wanted to have. I wouldn’t have EVER had a breakfast like this one from last week:
1/2 cup oats? Milk not water? Chocolate in breakfast? BANANA too?! Ok, panic time!!
And this really would’ve sent me over the edge:
Chocolate banana PB pizzert. I think I would’ve passed out.
That restriction didn’t end well. I was unhappy, and ignoring my cravings and refusing myself what I really wanted only lead to bingeing. Which then led to more restriction. And so the cycle continued.
To break it, I had to listen to myself. I had to ignore the voice screaming at me to put down the calorific banana and instead eat that yellow goodness that I wanted so badly.
Banana on my cereal!! 
And the day that I first had banana oatmeal.:
(Oooh snow outside there!)
And gradually, over time, I wasn’t afraid to eat what I wanted. Listening to your cravings and eating what you want is so darn FREEING.
And so frigging delicious too.
And now I have no problem at all.
I wake up and think about exactly what I want. It is the most important decision of the day after all
And whether I decide I’m craving a yoghurt mess with a giant PB spoon…
…or pancakes drizzled with syrup and chocolate chips…
…and I have whatever I want, and it keeps me healthy and makes me HAPPY
Oh, and bananas and me? We’re best friends now.
What’s your Best Breakfast Ever? Definitely today’s banana oatbran pudding topped soya puddings and a crumbled PB choc chip cookie!!
Have you ever had these sort of experiences? Or do you have them now?
Are you a banana person? I LOVE bananas now and have them every day!! Can’t believe they were ever a fear food!!
Have an AMAZING day friends, and stay tuned for an awesome giveaway tomorrow!!
OH YES! i use to be the same! my go to brekki? two egg whites with a fat free wedge of laughin cow… yeah.. LOLS
What’s your Best Breakfast Ever? oat bran with sun warrior and nut butter or TWO banans with nut butter- doublethe love!
Are you a banana person? um.. do i rly need to answer this?
Bananas are my favorite! I enjoy them with EVERY breakfast.. and sometimes more throughout the day!
I love this post.. because I once felt this same way. I would have some sort of crap bar for less then 150 calories.. or better yet.. no breakfast at all. How could I consume so many calories so early in the day!?
I slowly learned that breakfast is what gets you going. And I need to LIKE what I am eating. Not eat just to eat. Then you are never satisfied!
Goshhhh, you are my total inspiration. Try 1/4 C. oatmeal with water topped with splenda and cinnamon, skip lunch, and have some lettuce for dinner… so yum. NOT.
Now i look forward to every meal because i know it will be delishhh! Not going to lie I still have restriction problems but I am getting over them!
Im slowly learning, and hoping, and praying, to get over the stupid restrictions!
Long live chocolate and pb
I’ve always had more of a problem with lunch and There was a time when I’d just have an apple and carrots for lunch… not good. Breakfast has always been kinda the same for me.
Love bananas. I have one every single day. Last week we were out of them for 2 days and no one went to the store to get more. It was really tragic. and then when we got them I ate 2 in one day… haha banana addiction? maybe.
I definitely battled the same thing… except I wouldn’t let myself eat breakfast.. Ughh dark days.
My fav b’fast depends on if I’m in a sweet or savory mood! Sweet: french toast. Savory: egg sandwich
I never liked bananas growing up, but now I’m eating them more. I think I got sick when I was little and threw one up (TMI??) and since then they remind me of the flu! Haha.
This post both breaks my heart and makes me incredibly happy at the same time. It breaks my heart because I remember what that kind of life was like, and I’m so sorry that you had to go through the same thing
But it makes me incredibly happy because both you and I overcame it, and that’s a reason for celebrating 
I absolutely adore bananas, although I used to fear them like crazy. I still remember the first time I added a banana to my breakfast… I was smitten, and since then I don’t think I’ve ever gone back. And breakfasts have just kept getting better and better since then, with my favorite obviously being almond butter and pudding oats
It’s hard to believe I did that at one time, how sad. For me it was more lunch (half a sandwich and half an apple, really?) Now all my meals are happy
Bananas are my love, I can’t function without at least one a day =)
I would never imagine you struggled with fear foods and self-restriction! Which is obviously a good thing – you definitely left it behind you! You’re such an example and inspiration to everyone who’s battling against an ED or/and severe self restriction… Food does NOT equal “fatness”!It means fuel, it means love. You’re teaching us a lessons in every single post you publish here
Thank you SO much for sharing this, Emma! It was really nice to know a bit more about you.
Have a great day!
xoxo
I loved this post!!! Listening to what my body wants makes me feel so freaking happy.
So proud of you for overcoming your disordered eating past, and for sharing with us! I definitely relate. I used to restrict all day everyday, and it was a very sad way to live. Now, I listen to my cravings, and while they are relatively healthy, I am a big fan of chocolate anytime of day.
YAAAAAAAY EMMA for your awesome workouts and your awesome breakfasts! I have to say, I confronted this issue head on this morning. during the school year, I know exactly how much I need to get me to lunch. During the summer, my breakfasts tend to get smaller, and smaller, and smaller… and this morning I was like “NO! This is not right!” so I brought back the big breakfast. I had two waffles (two servings of grains!? GASP!) and a banana with peanut butter and it was da bomb.com. No going back.
So glad that you are eating what makes you happy now days. Your breakfasts look DELICIOUS. Yum – those pancakes? omg! Sounds like a perfect lazy saturday morning bfast!
ps: great run this morning! wow!
this is one of my favorite posts. I think we’ve all heard that voice and its so freeing to SHUT IT OUT!! THank you sweet emma for sharing these amazing breakfast choices. I want them all.
Wow, I admire your honesty in the post.
I’m gonna be honest too: when I first read couple of your initial posts, I was skeptical because you seemed to be restricting the calories of your meals. I don’t want to accuse you (and I hope you’re not offended) because I used to do it too. I still find it annoying when I see all the 300-calorie breakfasts in some blogs – those, I just stop reading.
Sweet, hearty, and very often chocolately breakfasts are heaven for me as well.
I’m so proud of all the progress you made. I’m so glad that you’ve find a true passion of yours over the last year through running, and at the same that you kept balance with other things – like music!!
Thanks, Stephanie
I SOOO have had those feelings…I remember when I used to have the SAME TWO THINGS rotating for breakfast. Special K + apple…or low sugar oatmeal. Ew, ew, ew. How is that a nourishing breakfast? In fact, I’m trying to UP what I’m currently eating for breakfast now because I am hungry like an hour later. NOT okayyyy!!
I definitely have these kinds of experiences, but the problem I have is that I find it incredibly difficult to eat without restriction without gaining weight. I’m hoping that I just have yet to find that balance between indulgence and restriction, as I don’t think my body’s “happy weight” is in the range of borderline overweight for my height.
kudos to you for posting this, so glad you’ve found that balance
what a wonderful post, emma! I really admire your bravery and honesty.
I’ve struggled with disordered eating, too, but for me it was almost the opposite–like, I ate what I wanted, but I became obsessive about only eating EXACTLY what I wanted. If a meal wasn’t perfect, I would be really unhappy and feel like I had “wasted” an opportunity to eat (which in hindsight I think was largely because even though I thought I was eating enough, I wasn’t, so every time I let myself eat it was this precious opportunity that had to be perfect).
breakfast is DEFINITELY my favorite and usually my biggest meal of the day, too! I’m especially fond of scrambled eggs with chives and ricotta cheese on toasted whole grain bread, but I do of course love oatmeal too!
oh, and bananas–love ‘em! bananas are not and never have been a fear food of mine, but I definitely did used to fear fat (read: no nut butter). now, I almost always eat my bananas with nut butter
oh, and I meant to add under my first paragraph that now I’ve really lightened up about the quality of my food (I think college forces that haha). I mean, OF COURSE I want to enjoy my food, and when I’m home I take great pride in cooking delicious meals, but the world doesn’t come to a standstill if I have to eat something that doesn’t taste amazing.
Oh, I love you!! Breakfast is my fave “time” of the day, I am always looking forward to waking up to a nice bowl of oatmeal with as many toppings as I can eat
But as you, there were times in my life when I was restricting myself and didn´t allow myself to have breakfast or something more than an apple and a cup of coffee – eh, how could I live on that? 
)
Bananas!!! I love them. I could eat four or five daily without any problem, but fortunatelly they are too expensive, so I am ok with one, max two pieces
Girl, I TOTALLY understand this! I used to eat watery oats with measured raisins too last year! It was pretty miserable- I’m surprised I still like oats, considering the horrendous way I would prepare them. I would have never allowed myself to eat peanut butter or chocolate with breakfast- now, they’re my favorite things
I love this post because I could so resonate with it. My breakfasts used to be so pitiful- 30g branflakes with 140ml milk- no wonder I was starving an hour later. Bananas were a treat as too many would make me gain weight- apparently! My breakfasts today are so much heartier than i could hVe ever imagined and not surprisingly yummier! Peanut butter was a no go in the past. Today a breakfast WITHOUT peanut butter is a no go!! Man thus post reminds me why getting up is so much easier these days
I LOVE THIS SO FREAKING MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my gosh, amen! I am SO happy to see where you are now, what a blessing! I forget you even struggled w. that sometimes! YOU ARE AWESOME!!! ew, i used to eat special K every morning with 1/4th of a banana, how did that EVER fill me up? some days it was just an apple! um, excuse me? wheres the joy in that? NOWHERE!
That bowl of porridge with a few raisins look very familiar to me … that’s exactly what I ate for breakfast most mornings only a year or so ago.
I’ve always loved breakfast, but I like it even better now I can add a bit of excitment to it and I stopped making gruel every morning.
I did sometimes have those thoughts but I’m thankful to say no longer, I think for me I have had to build up a new ‘trust’ in my body that by eating what I want I’m not going to gain all the weight back that I lost. I do think there’s a balance and I don’t crave chocolate for breakfast every day, sometimes I just want something simpler, but for me that is just wonderful as it feels like I have achieved a true balance! I do think that for people who are looking to lose weight in a healthy way that is right for them, chocolate at breaky may not be the best for them, but the poor alternative of a tiny bowl of oats certainly isn’t either! All about the balance! Of course it goes without saying that my fave breakie is a giant green smoothie with all the toppings
Wonderful post! You’ve come so far and it’s inspiring! I’m struggling at the moment, this is just the kind of positivity I need in my life!
Oh no, sorry to hear that you’re still struggling!! Thinking of you, and I’m here any time you need
<3
Emma thank you so much for sharing
It’s so great that you’ve been able to conquer your disorderly eating! Well done lady! xxxx
Man I adore you and your posts so much just love your wit! I can so badly relate to what you said I was the same I hated my breakfast but kind of looked forward to it as was so starved through my different relpases breakfasts have consisted of an apple, or egg whitess and brown sauce, porridge with water and shit loads of sweetner cause it tasted so vile or soya latte. Ugh not good days. My breakfasts now are more hearty I love chopped banana in them with soya milk and natural sweetner some day I want to try a cookie crumbled and some alpro desert yoggurt. Thanks for all your amazing ideas. Xxx
Such a great post! I think it’s all about balance and moderation. I always take the good with the bad, but now I feel that I can can trust my body more to make the right choices where food is concerned.
Your old breakfasts look a lot like mine used to be. Same amount of oats, would only use Alpro Light soy milk and had 30g of sultanas OR half a banana. Never a whole one, god forbid. I was not running as I am now but it still was pretty miserable.
I’m so happy you’ve overcome those issues and thank you so much for sharing: the new brekkies are clearly doing you good looking at your progress healing from your injury.
*huggles*
xxx
Banana’s and to much food used to always scare me, now I totally accept it, and look forward to my meals waay more
( I eat a banana every day now too!!)
hey! i am new to your blog but have been reading it and just wanted to tell you that you inspire me to be better. I am a runner too and trying to improve. I look forward every morning to reading your blog eating my boatmeal and other recipes that i found here! Thanks for all the inspiration!
THANK YOU for such a sweet comment!! That really means a lot to me! Happy Running!
<3
I love breakfast. When I’m on my own, I sometimes eat breakfast for 3 meals a day. I’m glad that you’ve found a way to be comfortable with yourself and your food. You should be proud of yourself!
It’s so great you are eating the breakfast you love. And its also wondrous(!) that I’m having the breakfasts (who says a girl can’t have breakfast for lunch and even dinner too?!) I love too
Thank you for being so honest! And I love that picture of you lying on your bed thinking by the way. Looks really cute! 
I’m not a bananas person. Banana camouflaged in banana bread, spreads (YUP, SPREADS!! Yummy
), ice-cream…etc. But the fruit itself– can’t stand the smell and texture OH WELL… More for the other banana lovers on earth? 
My favourite breakfast of all time is homemade wholemeal coffee flavoured bun filled with chocolate banana custard, with Soy Hot Chocolate and some fruit at the side. Heavenly, really
Thank you for opening up. It’s inspiring to see how far you’ve come.
What’s your Best Breakfast Ever?
So hard to decide! Either pumpkin oats with lottsa pb, or pancakes… probably the latter
Have you ever had these sort of experiences? Or do you have them now?
YES. My breakfasts used to be pitifully small. A tiny bowl of the lowest calorie cereal I could get my hands on, topped with soy milk and with a side of (lower calorie like a nectarine, berries, etc.) fruit.
However, I used to look forward to breakfast SO MUCH. My body was in starvation mode and ANYTHING looked good to it. I would lie in bed at night and fantasize about my breakfast, it was that bad.
Are you a banana person?
I LOVE bananas now. However, they used be (and still sometimes are) a fear food. I used to think that bananas (being carby) would stick to my hips, whereas apples (because they were water-based) would be potent for weight loss. I literally imagined it attacking my fat like vinegar or something. Sad, sad days.
And you know what? I love both fruits now, for their flavors and textures, and I am so, so much happier than I used to be.
Awwwww, you rock girl! You have come so far from those tiny silly breakfasts to breakfasts of champions
To think, growing up i hated bananas, even the smell, and I guess now I am making up for it since I have ‘em everyday – it’s love! And way to go on your run, you are a rock star!
Thanks for this great post! I once felt the exact same way. My breakfast at that time was half of a granola bar and a cup of green tea. No wonder I felt so horrible. I’ve come to realize how stupid I was being and I’m so thankful I’m over those days. Now breakfast is one of my favorite meals! Best breakfast is either overnight oats or granola with soy milk and almond milk. So good :] And I totally love bananas! I think I could eat them with every meal and not get tired
Ok first off bloody hell your quick!! And thats slow for you?! Aishh! Secondly those there are some seriously good lookin breakfasts!!! I used to skip all food until at least 6pm when hunger would get the better of me and i’d cave and have half a cheese sandwich or something equally as useless so I definitely know how you feel. Can’t imagine living like that nowadays! BRING ON DESERT FOR BREAKFAST!
YES YES YES for no shin pain! such happy news. you go, girl!
I’m glad you had no shin pain. But anywho-
I think we are really similar in breakfast aspects. I used to fear breakfast like it was my job. Now you know I’ll be rocking those pancakes and waffles everyday. I’m really interested in your past, I think we are probably so similar girl.
i definitely didn’t appreciate the benefit of a good breakfast in the past. i would only eat 100-200 calories and be starving by 10 a.m. discovering how much better i felt when i ate 400-500 calorie breakfasts was life changing. such a great way to start the day!
i love, love, love bananas! especially when combined with peanut butter
Awesome to see how far you’ve come! Your breakfast looks amazing…ALL of them! I’m not a banana fan, but I love my oats and almond butter !!!
Tbh Emma, I had an inkling… thank you for sharing that. In a matter-of-fact way too. I think the fact that you pared it down made it seem like a ‘simple’ series of changes to make
Of course, we know that it isn’t that easy AT ALL. But it IS possible. And stating it as such a logical, personal progressive step, is extremely encouraging for many people reading this, I’m sure of it
xoxo
I love your breakfasts
I totally used to have that – I knew every day exactly what I would have – ie 1 slice of bread with 4 prawns and some salad, and no more than 100g of cherry tomatoes (cos any more and it’d be more than 20cals). OH those were the days…
I LOVE bananas! I regularly have 2 or 3 in one day, which is probably bad for me but whatever :p
YAY for the run!
It’s so crazy that at one time you were going through exactly what I went through! Cuz looking at you now, you are so full of joy and love and passion for yummy foods, whether they are calorie-dense or not!
I love that about you
You are such an inspiration Emma, and I am so glad to call you my friend
P.s. your oatmeal now >>>>>your oatmeal then. Gag!
Love you so much!!
<3 Haley
ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU!!!
I love this post, you are such an inspiration to me! I have to read your blog every day. I learn so much, and even if Im not at the perfect place with food atm, reading your blog makes me CRAVE a good relationship with food. And that craving makes me work for it! Thankyouthankyouthankyou <3
I love how your breakfast is always the best ever
What an amazing start to the day!
Im actually not a banana person :O I can eat them, and sometimes all I want is banana with AB or other nut butters. But I never ever want a plain banana, and I never put them in my oatmeal. I have nothing againt them, but it is not my first fruit of choice
I have nothing against a fresh slice of banana bread though 
<3
Good for you girl! Both for getting through this AND having the guts to share it with everyone!
Wow thank you so much for being brave and sharing this!
I go through the same thing fearing certain foods and bananas are a biggie for me
But seeing how you overcame your fears and honor you body’s cravings really inspires me to do the same! You have such a healthy approach to food and exercise and such a joyful outlook on life!
I have been thinking about doing a post about my ED past and you’ve totally givene the extra courage I needed.
Thanks for being so awesome
I’m so glad to hear that you are well now and have a good relationship with food!
Girl, I didn’t realize you had a negative history toward food. I am SO glad to hear that you are in a healthy place today! That’s wonderful! And seriously that banana + pb + chocolate deliciousness is making my mouth water!
[...] all started with breakfast, which I’ll get to later. Last night I read Emma’s post about breakfast restriction. It was incredibly good timing, as I had just realized that morning [...]
How awesome that you overcame this.
I used to have a HORRIBLE problem with restriction especially at breakfast. It was always 3/4 c special k, with 1/4 c milk – no more, no less. Now the thought of eating that stuff makes me shiver. I need big kid food people! and my breakfast is probably my biggest meal of the day. 1/4 cup of oats? No thanks my tummy needs MORE. NO peanut butter, no banana’s, no maple syrup? HELL no! pile that stuff on there!
I just found your blog and love it! I had the worst restriction problems but I’m slowly getting over it! I’ve been experimenting with banana/pumpkin/pb oats and yogurt messes and I feel so free
I’m so glad that you shared this story!! I love how open the blog world seems to becoming regarding past disordered eating and weighty issues. I have so many favorite breakfasts I don’t even think I could pick a favorite!! Maybe, thick, custardy french toast topped with sunflower seed butter, nutella, chocolate chips, granola and yogurt topped with banana softserve and a mocha cappuccino on the side. YUM. LOVE YOU!!
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Thanks to you, I now spend at least 10 minutes each morning dreaming up the most perfect breakfast, and then i eat it! Only a few weeks ago, I would feel horrible all day if I felt there was even a slight chance that I accidentally consumed too many calories at breakfast. Now I’m starting my day off with wonderful things such as maple banana bread oatmeal or coconut chocolate chip cookie dough oatmeal! And I feel so FREE and GREAT!!! I never would have taken this step if it weren’t for reading this post. Thank you so much!!
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I can’t tell you how much I love your love of breakfast! This post makes me smile. Breakfast is the best
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